Faith Through the Storm

It had been over an hour. I stood there, holding the door shut to my son’s room while he raged on the other side from a yet to be diagnosed disorder, which had dominated our lives for years. That day, my sometimes sweet, funny, determined little 7 year old was experiencing a battle waging inside of him. So there I stand, fighting against his surprising strength to get the door open. No matter what was on the agenda at this time, it all went out the window. My sole focus was to keep him and us safe as his illness turned him into someone else. How long will this one last? An hour? Two? All I could do was try to hold back the tears that welled up, pray…and wait.

One moment I would feel anger and frustration at the damage that my son’s challenges had caused in our family; fear, hurt, insecurity and confusion in my other children, and strain on our marriage. The emotional swings, aggression, and chaos would often leave me battling anger, hurt, and hopelessness. Then my emotions would quickly shift to sadness, loneliness, and grief as he’d weep in my arms over an illness he desperately wanted to be free from. My home was not a reprieve; it was where my greatest battles were waged. And although God has sustained us and the challenges have varied through the years, the impact has left its mark in countless ways.

On days when I feel the crushing impact of the pain and trauma my son’s disorder has had on him and us (while trying to care for three other children as I battle my own chronic illness), I cry out to the Lord, “Where are you in all this pain?! I don’t know if I can do this anymore!”

When the Storm Comes

Why does it often seem like God is silent in the midst of the storms that threaten our very lives? He tells us that everything we encounter has been ordained, planned by his sovereign will. This illness and pain is no accident. So we often cry out,

“Lord, where are you in this storm?”

As I wrestled with that question, the Holy Spirit drew me to a passage in Matthew:

“And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed Him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing” And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” Matthew 8:23-27.

As I chewed on these words, the Holy Spirit drew six realities to the surface that encouraged me in my own storm that I hope will offer encouragement in yours as well:

1. Jesus led the disciples out on the boat, despite sovereignly knowing a storm would arise.

Jesus sometimes leads us to places that contain deep struggle, but never without a purpose that’s greater than the pain. He leads us to the end of our resources to show us our need for him, change us to be more like him, and reveal that his power is greater than any storm that may come.

2. The disciples obediently followed Jesus into the boat, trusting him as their Lord and Savior. 

If we have chosen to follow Christ, we must understand that following him will include the storms of suffering. First, because we live in a fallen world under the curse of sin. Second, because we have an enemy who’s threatened by the kingdom of God and all who are a part it. Third, because we follow a suffering Savior. Jesus says, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” Luke 9:23-24  We can’t pick and choose which part of following Christ we want. We can’t choose blessing and not suffering. For suffering seems to be where some of the greatest (eternal) blessings are found, just as the blessing of our salvation is the byproduct of Christ’s painful suffering on the cross. So do we choose the short term “blessings” of the world, or the path of the cross with blessings forevermore? Only by God’s grace will we choose the cross.

3. “Jesus slept when the storm arose.”

Does God sometimes seem asleep in your storm? He does to me. But that doesn’t make him less God or less present. Though Jesus slept as a man, he was still fully God and in control. He went to “sleep” to accomplish a purpose of growing the disciples faith, not to abandon them.

4. The disciples didn’t frantically try to row back to shore. Instead, they cried out to the One who had the power over the storm.

Instead of putting all of our hope in our own abilities or solutions that the world may offer, we can choose to go to Christ, the only One who has the power to control all things. Yes, he will often use other people and resources to help along the way, but our dependence must ultimately be fixed on him. He may not calm the storm in the way or timing we’d like, but the same God who rules the wind and the waves, rules over the boundaries of your suffering.

5. Jesus gently asked, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” 

The disciples were afraid because their faith was based on what they could see and understand instead of on the truth that Jesus was God. Right now in my life, I still see no end to the trials I face on a daily basis. No person can or should promise me that it will all be “okay” and that God will choose to heal our son, heal my body, or remove the pain surrounding my life. He can and he might. But he hasn’t promised it and neither should we. However, he does tell us that we don’t need to fear, even when we can’t see the shore. Why? Because he is God, and even the winds and the waves obey Him. And he will only let the storm rage as long as he deems necessary for our good and for his glory to be revealed.

6. “He Acted.” Despite their little faith, Jesus still acted. He calmed the storm and saved the disciples, but not until they had seen their lack and need for a Savior. Do we try to do all the right things and think that God will see our efforts and calm our storm if just figure out the right formula? Do we try to pull up our boot straps to prove that we are “strong” and in control of our lives? Or do we humbly admit our dependence on Christ and cry out to him to not only rescue us, but sustain us in the storms that we’re helpless to save ourselves from?

Jesus knew that this is where following him would lead, but not for it to end in death. When these storms come, they often expose how much greater of a faith we have in our own efforts and solutions of the world than in Christ alone. It’s his severe mercy to draw us into a deeper realization of our need for Him. So whatever storm you are facing…cling to him! Cry out to him! Then wait, watch, and rest in his good and sovereign will with anticipation. For the greater the storm, the greater the platform for his glory to be revealed to us and through us to a watching and lost world.

Home is around the corner,

Sarah