“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
~ GRACE IN A LINE ~
Jesus doesn’t ask me or need me to be super-mom.
I stared at the little box next to the words “Check here to join the school PTA.” As I filled out my child’s school registration, I felt the tension rise within me. Good moms get involved at their child’s school, I thought. I’m already overwhelmed with what’s on my plate, but everyone I know is volunteering. What does it say about me if I don’t?
Those little boxes are around every corner. Sign here to coach your child’s team. Check here to help arrange school activities. Sign here to be on the church welcoming committee. Check here to join our gym membership. Click here to learn how to cook healthy meals for your family. Check here to register for homeschooling materials. Sign here to join the company that allows you to work from home and still make money!
It’s exhausting, isn’t it? I feel stressed just thinking about it. So many of us ceaselessly strive to keep up with endless demands and give everything our best.
Of course, it’s good to check “yes” in any of these boxes. It’s wonderful and helpful to be involved in our children’s education; it’s good to be invested in our church by volunteering; it’s good and right to do what we can to take care of the bodies God has given us; it can be a wonderful option for some moms to homeschool their children; equally, there are many moms who either feel called to work or have to do so out of necessity.
The problem arises when we come to believe that we should be able to do it all, be it all, and look good doing it. We look at others who seem like they’re doing just that—but we can’t necessarily see that there’s always a cost somewhere. No one truly can do it all. Supermom may appear to be everything you can’t live up to, but she may also be exhausted, unhappy, or “doing it all” at the expense of her marriage, health, or spiritual rest.
Sister, if I could pull up a chair beside you, I’d give you a cup of tea (or coffee) and encourage your weary heart by saying, “Lay down your striving to do and be it all, and quiet the lies that tell you that you’re less of a mom because you can’t. Take a deep breath and give yourself a heavy dose of grace— because God does.”
Rest in this truth: every mom has unique capacities and circumstances.
When I stared at the dreaded box to join the school PTA, I had a choice. I could look at the woman next to me checking “yes” and decide to overstretch myself in an unhealthy way. I could check “no” but then beat myself up as I told myself I was falling short of the mom I should be.
Or, I could remember that the mom next to me may not be navigating an extremely difficult special-needs child, chronic health issues, or a husband who was working away from home most of the time. I could remember that she may simply have more energy and need less sleep than me. I could remember that I am not saved by saying yes to every- thing, and I am free to say no when that is wisest for me, in my specific circumstances.
All in Balance
This is not a freedom to say no to everything, though! Galatians 6:2 calls us to “bear one another’s burdens,” referring to the weighty trials and troubles that come upon us—but verse 5 then clarifies that we’re also called to “each … bear his own load,” which refers to the basic God-given responsibilities we’ve each been given. How that may look practically will vary for each of us to some extent, but as moms, we each have a load that we’re called to bear—to faithfully love and serve our families with the strength God equips us with. Coming to Jesus to receive his rest doesn’t equate to kicking back, putting up our feet, and saying no to anything that stretches or challenges us.
For example, there are many days when my body is begging me to sit down and not move another muscle. Sometimes, it’s wise for me to humble myself and ask for help. But often, I need to ask the Lord to give me the strength one step at a time to carry my load as a mom in the typical daily duties of raising a family, partnering with my husband
in teaching and training our kids in the truth of Scripture, transporting them to and from activities, and following through on commitments. I’m often ready to collapse by the time bedtime comes around, but it’s important to temporarily set aside my desire for rest in order to tuck my kids into bed, pray with them, and be a listening ear to their questions (which always seem to come the moment I’m trying to close their bedroom door for the night!). Although there will be extenuating circumstances at times, they should be the exception to the norm, rather than the norm, as we seek to honor the Lord with the responsibilities that are ours to bear (with God’s help).
Finding Rest in Christ
What, then, does Jesus mean by “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest”?
It means we are invited to clothe ourselves daily in the truth of the gospel—we are invited to remember that our standing before God is not dependent on how many good things we’re doing or how well we’re doing them. We are forgiven, accepted, and loved because Christ lived the perfect life we cannot and paid for our sins, failures, and weaknesses on our behalf. If you are a child of God, you are received and loved by your heavenly Father because Jesus has called you his own, not be- cause you are doing as much as the mom next door. This is what enables you to work hard as a mom, to make sacrifices for your family, and to persevere through the countless ups and downs of motherhood, yet at the same time to be freed from the lie that good moms always say yes. God does not ask you to be a supermom, and so you do not need to demand it of yourself.
Sister, rest in that today. Cease striving to be something you can’t be and aren’t called to be. And ask the Holy Spirit to grant you the wisdom and discernment to rest in Jesus and to be faithful where he has you right now—even if that looks like checking “no” in the PTA box.
Reflect
~ When you examine your life right now, are there areas in which you have stretched yourself thin in an attempt to “do it all”? Are you feeling weary over all that’s on your plate or battling guilt over what you aren’t doing? If so, pray and ask God to give you wisdom as to where he wants you right now and where you can be free to step back or say no in this season.
*This is a chapter excerpt from He Gives More Grace: 30 Reflections for Ups and Downs of Motherhood Through the Years by Mother/Daughter team, Sarah Walton and Linda Green. Last chance to pre-order and receive bonuses before it releases this Friday, December 1st!
Set Apart 