Mental Illness, Parenthood, and a God of the Impossible.

This is a personal one for me. One I don’t share much of, but I know many are quietly suffering in this way, so here it goes –

As I’ve shared before (including in my essay response to some unhelpful comments recently made about mental illness and parenting), most of my 17 years of motherhood have been spent sitting outside or inside my precious child’s room, trying to protect him by keeping him (and I) safe as his illness turned him into someone he couldn’t control. 15 years of memories I carry mostly alone due to the isolating nature of it. 

But that’s not primarily what I want to share here. Instead, I want to share the miracle God has done (and is doing) to give others hope. 

This same child, who I wondered if he even had the ability to grasp the gospel, gave his life to Christ 7 years ago in the most miraculous way possible – after a three hour long battle in his mind and body. 

Honestly, I wondered how I would know if he truly had the spirit in him, when his illness often brought with it such a sense of darkness. But in God’s great kindness, he made it clear. Not by taking his illness away, but by clearly taking the enemy’s power out of it, removing the scary darkness behind his eyes in these moments (as well as never again experiencing certain things that are too personal to share), and giving our son a genuine hope that he would one day be free from the torment of his mind and body. He was still sick, but Satan’s power and purposes to destroy him and us through it were not only restrained, but conquered. 

Fast forward to 3 yrs ago this month and we still had to make one of the hardest decisions a parent has to make to get him the help he needed. We’ve never endured something so painful. 

But God worked miracles in his heart and mind during that season. Yet, as thankful as I was for some of that healing, my heart still struggled deeply with the traumatic effects of those years. 

But a while back, out of the blue, he looked at me and said, “Mom, I’m so sorry for how much I’ve hurt you in my life and how badly I’ve treated you. You didn’t deserve that and I feel so sad for how much pain my struggles have caused you. I didn’t think I’d ever feel hope in life, but I do because you haven’t given up on me.”

Once I picked my jaw up from the floor, tears welled up. It doesn’t remove the scars, but this was nothing short of God’s miraculous work in a heart and mind that mental science would deem impossible. But that’s God’s specialty. Doing the impossible. 

I know we aren’t the only ones who have walked this lonely, excruciating journey. And none of us have a guaranteed outcome. But here’s my encouragement – 

In John 9:2, the disciples asked Jesus, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus responded, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 9:3).”

The enemy wants you to live in the shadows of shame, guilt, and doubt over mental illness, a rebellious child, or areas of long-suffering that seem to have no end and no earthly hope.

But friends, God can heal a heart, even if he doesn’t heal the mind. He can redeem what seems unredeemable. He can restore a prodigal to himself, even if their heart seems too far gone. And no matter how impossible your situation may seem – nothing is impossible with our God. He often uses the very things that appear to have no earthly hope, to reveal his power and glory in an undeniable way.

Don’t lose hope. The story isn’t finished.

Home is around the corner,

Sarah

You connect with Sarah on Instagram here. 

To read more of Sarah’s writings, you can purchase a copy of He Gives More Grace: 30 Reflections for the Ups and Downs of Motherhood, Hope When It Hurts: 30 Biblical Reflections to help you grasp God’s purpose in your suffering), Tears and Tossings (short evangelistic resource on how God carries our sorrows), or Together Through the Storms (for married couples navigating the trials of life). Lastly, you can now pre-order Sarah’s Pilgrim’s Progress inspired children’s book based on the account of the Prodigal Son, titled “The Long Road Home” (Crossway, October 8, 2024).