Suffering with hope

Trusting God’s Love When He’s Silent to Our Pleas


As I embarked on my two and half hour drive to undergo another treatment for my Lyme Disease this past week, I was struck by the rare silence around me. There were no little children calling my name, no fights to break up, no one asking for something to eat, and no screaming or crying to deal with. It was just me. Me and the Lord. Suddenly, a wave of emotion came over me as the weight that I have been carrying settled upon me. Struggling to make sense of what was going on inside of me, I sat with the silence a little while longer, before deciding to quiet my racing mind with a podcast on John 11:1-6; the well known story of Lazarus.

I’ve gone to this story several times over the years because of the comfort and wisdom I have found there. Lately, however, as life has intensified, and as I’ve struggled to see Christ’s love and goodness in it, the words struck me afresh.

“Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill. So the sisters sent to him, saying, ‘Lord, he whom you love is ill. But when Jesus heard it he said, ‘This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’ Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.”

When I first read these verses I thought, “That doesn’t seem like love to me, at least not how I would show love, anyway.” Yet, these verses are crucial to understanding how God often works in the lives of his children – children whom he loves deeply. There are three helpful truths that this story has taught me when Christ works in and through circumstances in our lives that often seem unloving.

Christ Loves Us by Glorifying Himself through the Silence

God doesn’t love us by always giving us what we think we need, or by promising to take away our current pain and heartache. He loves us by allowing what he must so that we will be ultimately satisfied in him and bring him glory through it.

“Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.”

Jesus loved them so deeply, he chose to delay. Why? Because he knew that God would be most glorified by bringing life out of death. Many things can bring healing to the sick, but nothing but the power of God can give life to that which is already dead. What strikes me the most is that Jesus knew that his delay would cause pain to those he loved. Yet, compelled by eternal love, he restrained himself from bringing his friends immediate comfort for the purpose of revealing his glory to them. That is a love beyond any human love. In fact, it wouldn’t seem like love at all to those who have never tasted a glimpse of God’s glory.

As this truth sank deeper into my soul, I was flooded with thankfulness. Yes, I long for relief and healing for my son and my family, but I am increasingly longing for more of Christ and his glory through our lives. That would have never happened if Christ had healed my son nine years ago or come when I first began to pray for answers. He has loved me enough to delay. And he has loved me enough to allow the death of so much in me (my strength, comfort, desire for success, self-confidence) in order to bring me greater life in him.

We need to constantly remind ourselves of the love Christ has for us when he acts contrary to how we think he would or should. Though I may not understand why he has allowed so much pain in my life, he has given us promise after promise of his love and has shown us through the death and resurrection of Lazarus that it will often look different than we expect it to. It’s tempting to use our circumstances as a measuring stick of God’s love, but we, instead, must remember the love that he showed for us through his own death and resurrection. Though Jesus could have rescued himself from undeserved suffering and a painful death; He willingly   died to glorify his Father, that He might give resurrection life to that which was dead – sinners like you and me.

Because of that hope, no matter what circumstances we may face along the way; all who belong to Christ are secure in God’s perfect love. However, until the day when all our tears are wiped away, the Lord will sometimes work in ways we may not understand for the purpose of causing us to love him and desire his glory above all else in this world – even comfort, success, praise, money, family, and life itself.   

Christ Loves Us by Working in the Silence

Mary and Martha not only suffered as they watched their brother die, but they must have struggled to understand why Christ remained absent after their plea for help. They believed that Jesus had the power to heal and they knew that He loved them. Yet, how confusing it must have been when Jesus chose to delay. Do you ever feel that way? Do you believe Jesus has the power to change your situation but wonder why he has chosen not to? Have you prayed for answers and for assurance of his presence, while feeling nothing but silence? I certainly have. In fact, the times that I have struggled to see or feel Christ’s presence have been the hardest to endure. However, as we see in the story of Lazarus, though Christ seemed absent, he was still very present and at work in their lives. And he upheld their faith through it all.

Richard Sibbes wrote, “As his Father was never nearer him in strength to support him than when he was furthest off in sense of favour to comfort him, so Christ is never nearer us in power to uphold us than when he seems most to hide his presence from us. The influence of the Son of righteousness pierces deeper than his light.”¹

In other words, just as Christ needed the strength of his Father most as he endured the cross, Christ is never nearer to us in power than when we least feel his presence. Though we may not see or feel him, if we are his child, he will uphold us in faith and empower us to press on, no matter the circumstances we face. Though we may not always see him, his presence pierces deeper than what our eyes can see and our hearts may feel.

Christ Loves Us through the Silence

You and I may not understand what God is doing in our trials and pain, (and we may not even feel the presence of Christ at times), but he is there, and he is working. As the Holy Spirit upholds our faith (as weak as it may feel) in the darkest times, he will be glorified as we wait on him. And as we see greater glimpses of his glory, our faith muscles begin to grow. Jesus promised the sisters that Lazarus’ illness would not lead to death, but would instead be for the glory of God, so that the Son of God would be glorified through it.

There are times when God chooses to protect us from immediate harm as he did for the Israelites at the Red Sea, or to heal our diseases, as he did for the blind man and the leper, or dramatically answer our prayers as he did for the believers who prayed for Peter’s release from prison. However, there are also times when he allows us to experience pain and loss, allows our illnesses to continue, or delays until all hope is gone, as he did with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. Although we don’t have a guarantee of the outcome of our circumstances, believers can trust that God will be glorified as we trust his love for us. The divine wisdom that allowed Lazarus to die and then brought him back from the dead, points us to a far greater glory through the death and resurrection of Christ, who came to save sinners that we might have everlasting joy.

May that motivate us to pray continuously, stand firm in his love, and press on, even when it seems as if Christ is delaying in our greatest time of need. 

Trusting his love, 

Sarah Walton

¹Richard Sibbes – The Bruised Reed

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9 thoughts on “Trusting God’s Love When He’s Silent to Our Pleas”

  1. These are classic words:
    “He loves us by allowing what he must so that we will be ultimately satisfied in him and bring him glory through it.”
    Thanks, dear sister for your ministry to our hearts!

  2. Thanks Sarah for the rich Truths found in your words. They have strengthened me today.

    Cindy Stewart
    Your BSF group friend

  3. I just discovered your blog and I seriously feel like you are peering into my heart. Thank-you for sharing your journey of brokeness and what you’re learning. This path can feel so lonely most of the time; so thankful for those, like you, that encourage others with what they’re learning.

  4. I tried posting once but not sure if I actually hit submit…Anyway, I just discovered your blog and it’s been such a blessing. As someone who’s also going through some of the same trials/struggles I want to thank-you for sharing your brokeness and allowing the Lord to use you. It’s been a lonely journey for me in many ways (despite the fact of having a family) but the Lord is teaching me that it’s community with Him that I need first.

    1. Brooke, thank you for taking the time to share this with me. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with similar trials. And yes, the loneliness can, at times, be one of the hardest parts. I am praying that Christ will not only sustain you, but fill you with his presence.

  5. As a life-long Christian who isn’t sure that I’ve ever (for certain) “sensed God’s presence” personally, I was encouraged & edified by your devotional Sarah. Thank you.

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