Fighting for Faith When Doubts Abound

“May your compassion come quickly to meet us, for we are in desperate need” (Psalm 79:8). This is the prayer that I’ve been praying with every frail ounce of my being right now. It’s a prayer that, I admit, is riddled with thoughts of doubt and weariness over God’s apparent silence to our pleas for help this past year as the circumstances grow more dire by the day.

As a result, it’s been a full on fight for faith. A fight against the taunts that God isn’t who he says he is. The whispers that I must be too sinful, too faithless, or too broken to receive God’s grace, blessing, or compassion. The temptation to just stop praying, stop asking, and stop expecting him to answer.

I imagine I’m not the only believer who has faced these questions and temptations in long seasons of layered suffering. It’s these very seasons that force us to examine what beliefs we’ve set our feet upon. And often, those beliefs are mixed with what God has promised and how we actually interpret those promises.

Promises such as:

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Psalm 41:10

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 31:8

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Isaiah 41:13

I don’t know about you, but I read these promises and it’s easy to interpret how they should play out in my specific circumstances. And when they inevitably don’t play out according to what makes sense to me, the doubts, hurt, confusion, and questions aren’t far behind.

So the questions I’ve been asking myself lately are this: Why am I surprised when trials come when we’re told that in this world we will face sorrow and suffering (John 16:33)? Why do I so quickly question God’s goodness, love, and control when I experience the pain of this world or don’t receive the miracle I’m pleading for?

For me, I think it’s because there’s a pervasive belief that subtly infiltrates my thought life. One that, deep down, still believes God would keep me from harm and rescue me from pain if he truly loved me. 

That’s hard to admit out loud, but in our human understanding, that’s how we think love should work. If my child is in danger, I would do whatever I could to rescue him or protect him from it. If I were to sit idly by and do nothing, I certainly wouldn’t be a very good and loving parent. But I’ve learned that I too often come to conclusions about who God is by interpreting a circumstance through the limited understanding of my humanity. It’s like the man who sees the cocoon of a butterfly and believes the most loving thing to do is to free the butterfly, yet in reality would cripple the butterfly from being strong enough to fly and living as it was intended to. 

What we see with our eyes is one dimensional. Our God sees all-dimensional.

Instead of equating his goodness with what he protects or rescues me from, I have to shift my perspective to the belief that his goodness is found in his strength, purposes, and presence in those trials. Instead of freeing us from the cocoon, he climbs in it with us and gives us the strength to struggle and persevere our way through until we are shaped into the beauty of his character and strong enough to be prepared and equipped to display his glory in the backdrop of a dark world. 

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.”

1 Peter 4:12-13

Friend, you may be facing something unimaginable and something very few can enter into. But Jesus promises to enter that place with you to give you the strength to endure, to melt away the impurities and dross in your life, to expose false beliefs and solidify true ones, and to bring about his eternal purposes. You may not feel it or see it in the moment. But neither did any other Saint from of old. So you and I are in good company as our faith muscles are broken down in order to grow with greater strength and endurance.

Press on in the confident hope that this isn’t the end of the story. Although the enemy may taunt that his arrows will destroy you and that your God is indifferent, trust that God is actually at work in ways that you just can’t yet see. As you struggle, writhe, and long to be free from the difficulty, God is surely at work, creating something beautiful and lasting in you. For he cannot be unfaithful.

Home is around the corner,

Sarah Walton

To read more encouragement on hope in your suffering, pick up a copy of Hope When It Hurts (30 short biblical reflections for hope in your suffering), Tears and Tossings (shorts evangelistic resource), or Together Through the Storms (for married couples). If you’re a mom (or know a mom), you can now pre-order Sarah and Linda’s (mother/daughter) forthcoming book, He Gives More Grace: 30 Hope-filled Reflections for the Ups and Downs of Motherhood Through the Years on Amazon or The Good Book Company. And you can find amazing pre-order bonuses HERE!