Suffering with hope

The Lord is My Helper

A decade ago, I remember walking out of another doctor’s appointment, discouraged. They offered no help. No answers. No direction. I had been experiencing some new pain with my post-polio syndrome and wanted to find an orthopedic physician to help me. So I asked around to find trustworthy orthopedists and made appointments, carrying my x-rays… Continue reading The Lord is My Helper

Suffering with hope

Each Day Is More Impossible – Hope on the Long Road of Suffering

It had been eight weeks since I went in for my fifth ankle surgery, uncertain of whether it would restore my ability to walk. As I remained couch bound, waiting to see what walking ability I would be left with, I wrestled with doubts and fears over all the seemingly impossible circumstances that God continued… Continue reading Each Day Is More Impossible – Hope on the Long Road of Suffering

Suffering with hope

Lord, Make us Ready

Something struck me as I read and listened to the prayers of believers suffering in Afghanistan. There is an other-worldly peace, confidence, humility, and longing for those around the world to see that the God they serve is worthy of their all - even at the cost of everything. Contrast that with much of the… Continue reading Lord, Make us Ready

Suffering with hope

Pain Will Not Have the Last Word

Pain has taken its toll on me — physically, emotionally, and mentally. The damage isn’t always visible on my face or in my words, but it’s always there, tempting me to view everything through the lens of an aching heart and a weary spirit. No one lives this life untouched. We all experience the brokenness… Continue reading Pain Will Not Have the Last Word

Suffering with hope

Trapped in My Own Mind – Three Lies Depression Whispers

I can’t live like this anymore!” I cried through sobs. “I just want to die!” I sat on my bed and tried to make sense of what was going on inside. I was tired of the chronic pain, the frequent bouts of illness, and the weariness of dealing with my kids’ struggles. But what broke… Continue reading Trapped in My Own Mind – Three Lies Depression Whispers

Suffering with hope

When the Night is Long

Comfort, of comfort Where have you gone? This long night of heartache Will relief ever come? Then I awoke In the darkness of night Disoriented and searching With no answers in sight. The silence was deafening But I wasn’t alone My Lord was with me His presence made known. When will the darkness end, I… Continue reading When the Night is Long

Suffering with hope

When Words of Comfort Feel More Like Salt in a Wound

"How selfish of you to have four children when you knew you'd make them sick." My mouth hung open as I re-read the words, convinced I must have read them wrong. But unfortunately, I hadn't. Amidst the grief and heartache of years of undiagnosed illness and the heartbreaking reality that it was passed onto all… Continue reading When Words of Comfort Feel More Like Salt in a Wound

Suffering with hope

The Waves of Grief Will Give Way

“Why did God make me this way? I’ve asked him to change me every day, but he never does. My life is hopeless — there’s no point to trying anymore.” My child curled up in a heap on the floor and sobbed. I sat down next to him, empty of words and fighting my own… Continue reading The Waves of Grief Will Give Way

Suffering with hope

Frozen in Grief – the Pain of Ambiguous Loss

As we drove away from what felt like the millionth doctor’s appointment for our son, the new prescriptions and prospective treatments felt more like a set up for disappointment than a prospect of future hope. We had lived in this space for twelve years, ever since the realization that our son’s challenges were far beyond… Continue reading Frozen in Grief – the Pain of Ambiguous Loss

Suffering with hope

God of the Impossible

There is no escaping the painful realities that surround my family. Our own Red Sea looms before us while the relentless enemies of physical and mental illness, financial strain, layered losses, and temptations to lose heart, pursue us from all sides. While crushing circumstances involving physical and mental health, finances, marital pressures, and loss have… Continue reading God of the Impossible