Today carried a fresh blow of disappointment in a season of great need and much loss. It’s been a season of countless questions, feelings that are hard to admit, and incredible weariness.
Doesn’t God see? Doesn’t he care?
The thing is, there are moments in the Christian life when you know God can part the Red Sea, you plead with him to do so as dire circumstances close in, and you watch with anticipation for what he will do. And yet, to your great dismay, the waters don’t part and you’re left with confusion, hurt, and a shaken faith.
Can God part the Red Sea? We know he can. Does he always? No. At least not in the way or timing we expect or want.
Sometimes we’re simply left with a choice. Do I dive in and start swimming in my own strength because I don’t trust his way is best anymore? Do I turn back to the comforts of Egypt (independence from God) – the very place we were freed from? Or do I choose to trust him anyway and stand on the shore as the impossible looms before me and terrors close in behind me…and choose to trust that God won’t abandon me now?
It’s a full-on battle for faith. True, genuine, scar-filled faith that is no longer satisfied by empty cliches and spiritual one-liners, but a faith that sees every possible reason to question, doubt, and give up, and chooses to trust that God is who he says he is anyway.
To be honest, some days I want to crawl into bed and never get out. Some days I want to scream and pound my fists because I don’t think I can take one more thing. Some days I simply cry out in weariness and desperation to see God’s tenderness and compassion over my frailty. And some days, I give lies and doubts far too much time in my thoughts.
Can you relate?
Yet somehow, there is a seed a faith that refuses to give up, stay down, or walk away. And I simply believe it’s because he promises that he will not let us go.
I know that the hardships we face pale in comparison to much of the world. And the blessings in my life are immeasurable, as they likely are in yours as well…if we really take the time to look. But pain is pain. Loss is loss. And a broken heart, mind, and body can leave you gasping for air no matter where you live or what circumstances surround you.
And yet, time and time again, we must come back to this: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68-69). There is only One. And so we press on, continuing to pray as we’ve been praying for months (and years)…”Lord, we don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
A day will come when we will sit in awe of all he’s done. We have to cling to that hope with every ounce of our being. And it will be all the sweeter because of the bitterness we’ve tasted.
Friend, whatever “Red Sea” moment looms before you, will you join me in standing firm on the foundation that God will not abandon us in our darkest hour? He never has. He never will.
So in the same breath that we say, “Lord we don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you,” we sing a song of praise in anticipation of his future faithfulness.
“I will sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider he has thrown into the sea. The Lord is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exult him. You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode.”
Exodus 15: 1-2, 13
Standing firm with you,
Sarah
To read more encouragement on hope in your suffering, pick up a copy of Hope When It Hurts (30 short biblical reflections for hope in your suffering), Tears and Tossings (shorts evangelistic resource), or Together Through the Storms (for married couples). If you’re a mom (or know a mom), you can now pre-order Sarah and Linda’s (mother/daughter) forthcoming book, He Gives More Grace: 30 Hope-filled Reflections for the Ups and Downs of Motherhood Through the Years on Amazon or The Good Book Company. And you can find amazing pre-order bonuses HERE!
Set Apart 
Thank you for this…I will stand firm…
I believe that even if he doesn’t part the sea…..it’s because He knows better…..
LikeLike
Dear Sarah,
Oh, my! God is teaching me these truths – again – as I struggle to live with consequences of my verbal sins against three of my grandchildren who live in TN. They left their father, our son, and his (2nd) wife because they claimed they had been abused by both.
My husband and I couldn’t figure out how they’d been abused for a year and a half, since every time we tried to talk to them about it, they wouldn’t/couldn’t tell us how. So we began, like our son, to pretty much hound them to reconcile with he and his wife. It wasn’t until late March after my verbal attacks (Bipolar 2) set off by the mania that was triggered by conversations with our son and daughter-in-law that I found out.
Finally, his oldest, our grandson who has “high functioning” autism began an Instagram conversation with me about the abuse. And, for sure! They’d definitely been abused for a long time! They truly escaped Labor Day weekend, 2021 and moved back in with their mom permanently as soon as Noah was old enough to drive and had a car.
When I read that conversation to my therapist, she told me she’d had a hypothesis about our son for years, and felt now was the time to share it with me: He and our daughter-in-law have narcissistic personalities. I’ve now read 3 books on it, and they both fit the descriptions. And, when I refused via text to agree with our son about his daughter was being cruel and unchristian because she hadn’t invited her step-mother to her graduation in May, I recently got a letter from him with all kinds of incorrect assumptions and actual lies, as well as his forbidding me to talk to any of his kids (two of whom are 18 and older) until I promised to continue to “encourage” them to mend their relationships with he and his wife. The letter truly proves his narcissism to both my husband, me and my therapist! As if he can control any of this! Plus, unbeknownst to him, the kids have cut me off.
But that’s not the Red Sea I feel I’m facing. Instead, because of my angry words sent via Instagram messenger to all 3 kids (just before their mom remarried!😢), they’ve all stopped communicating with me completely. It’s been almost 6 months with no end in sight – not even a way to retell them how much I’ve learned about narcissism and am totally “on their sides.”
Their mom sent me an email in March telling me they forgave me (after I apologized and asked their forgiveness), but that it would take time to trust me again. And I get that! But my cry to the Lord is, “How long, oh Lord?”. So far, He hasn’t answered. I am very depressed. However, a few days ago, I decided to work through Larry Crabb’s workbook “Shattered Dreams” based on the book of Ruth from Naomi’s perspective. This is the second time in 8 years, and the Lord is teaching me again to keep leaning into Him and waiting on Him – to “cease striving” and be refreshed only by Him.
I’m also listening to a new Praise music playlist I put together on YouTube. God uses music to draw, teach, comfort and challenge me, so I keep listening and stay in His Word.
Blessings,
Sheri Matsumoto
LikeLike
“Pain is pain. And loss is loss.” I can definitely relate to this as my husband and I continue to have symptoms for which there are few explanations or ineffective treatments. I can only imagine how you feel with children who are ill. I’m praying for you. I have turned to the Scripture you quoted many times & try to keep my eyes on Him, because we definitely don’t know what to do.
LikeLike
Only God knew how much I needed this!!! A broken struggling marriage, parenting tweens/teens full of anger and rebellion and pain, a chronic illness….. So much right now, and God knows and sent this. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, that’s amazing to see how God met you right where you needed it in a way only he could have know. I’m so sorry for all that you’re going through, though. So. Much. I pray that you feel his strength, knowing he sees you and is with you in the darkness.
LikeLike
Thank you for your post. It will help and encourage many.
LikeLike