Suffering with hope

The Waves of Grief Will Give Way

“Why did God make me this way? I’ve asked him to change me every day, but he never does. My life is hopeless — there’s no point to trying anymore.” My child curled up in a heap on the floor and sobbed. I sat down next to him, empty of words and fighting my own… Continue reading The Waves of Grief Will Give Way

Suffering with hope

Frozen in Grief – the Pain of Ambiguous Loss

As we drove away from what felt like the millionth doctor’s appointment for our son, the new prescriptions and prospective treatments felt more like a set up for disappointment than a prospect of future hope. We had lived in this space for twelve years, ever since the realization that our son’s challenges were far beyond… Continue reading Frozen in Grief – the Pain of Ambiguous Loss

Suffering with hope

God of the Impossible

There is no escaping the painful realities that surround my family. Our own Red Sea looms before us while the relentless enemies of physical and mental illness, financial strain, layered losses, and temptations to lose heart, pursue us from all sides. While crushing circumstances involving physical and mental health, finances, marital pressures, and loss have… Continue reading God of the Impossible

Suffering with hope

The Path From Distress to Rest

Believe it or not, I've always been an emotional "stuffer". I don't naturally process difficult emotions well and too often respond to distressed emotions with the "put your head down and just keep going" routine until I crash and burn. Over the years, God has gradually grown me in this area, but it remains a… Continue reading The Path From Distress to Rest

Suffering with hope

Facing the Impossible

We were desperate. How could we go on like this - standing before a metaphorical mountain that seems impossible to scale on our own? We prayed. We pleaded. We endured. We waited. Then God did something miraculous and brought what seemed to be the answer we desperately needed. Although that answer would bring a different… Continue reading Facing the Impossible

Suffering with hope

The Tapestry of Life

The colors are blurredOnly chaos we seeAs dark threads are wovenWith our heartache and grief. “Trust me,” you say“With the story that’s unfoldingThough it’s impossible to seeThe masterpiece I’m weaving.” But, Lord, your ways are mysteriousAnd your hand hard to traceThese aren’t the colors we prayed forOnly dark colors in their place. “Stop striving, my… Continue reading The Tapestry of Life

Suffering with hope

Is It Wrong For a Christian to Despair?

Do you ever feel weary of waiting, weary of fighting for joy, and weary of hoping for better days? Do you push down feelings of despair and hopelessness because you don't think a Christian is allowed to struggle with such "faithless" feelings? Well, let me assure you - you aren't alone. If I'm honest, a… Continue reading Is It Wrong For a Christian to Despair?

Hope When It Hurts

In the Darkness of Night, New Mercies We will Find

~In the Darkness of Night, New Mercies we will Sing~ The joy that I once knew Is swallowed up by sorrow As the darkness of night Blinds my hope for tomorrow. Weariness has taken up residence Where my strength to fight once flourished Though many are at ease all around us Our comfort and peace… Continue reading In the Darkness of Night, New Mercies We will Find

Suffering with hope

When the Path is Dark – Remember

Disoriented. Numb. Somber. There are few words to describe where my heart has been lately. I feel inadequate to describe all the reasons why or how I have gotten to this place but, even if was able, the circumstances aren’t the point. The point is that even as Christians, we can face feelings of despair.… Continue reading When the Path is Dark – Remember

Suffering with hope

The Path of Silent Suffering

How can it be When silence is deafening In a world of noise Yet loneliness unending. Visible but unseen Present but unknown They say this story being written Must mostly be walked alone. When we’re called to live in community But face trials that seclude What a disorienting Christian dichotomy Carrying a weight that very… Continue reading The Path of Silent Suffering