Suffering with hope

Two Anchors for the Storms of Life

I gave birth to my son with two anchors drawn on my feet.  As my pregnant belly grew, so did my fear. This was my fourth baby, so I’d already read all the books and websites. I knew the practical realities of preparing to deliver a baby. I packed a bag. I made a birth… Continue reading Two Anchors for the Storms of Life

Suffering with hope

Learning Contentment in Unwanted Places

The walls felt like they were closing in around me. The air in the room grew heavy, and each breath I took stole every last ounce of my energy. With puffy eyes, a weary body, and an aching heart, I was desperate for an escape. Escape from a broken world, escape from a broken body,… Continue reading Learning Contentment in Unwanted Places

Suffering with hope

“Where Are You, Lord?”

"Where are you, Lord When the darkness swallows When your silence deafens In a multitude of sorrows? ______ Where is your comfort When pain abounds When companions flee And loneliness resounds? ______ Where is your justice When the innocent are hunted When the wicked prosper And their evil is flaunted? ______ Where is your compassion… Continue reading “Where Are You, Lord?”

Suffering with hope

Pain Will Not Have the Last Word

Pain has taken its toll on me — physically, emotionally, and mentally. The damage isn’t always visible on my face or in my words, but it’s always there, tempting me to view everything through the lens of an aching heart and a weary spirit. No one lives this life untouched. We all experience the brokenness… Continue reading Pain Will Not Have the Last Word

Suffering with hope

When the Night is Long

Comfort, of comfort Where have you gone? This long night of heartache Will relief ever come? Then I awoke In the darkness of night Disoriented and searching With no answers in sight. The silence was deafening But I wasn’t alone My Lord was with me His presence made known. When will the darkness end, I… Continue reading When the Night is Long

Suffering with hope

When Words of Comfort Feel More Like Salt in a Wound

"How selfish of you to have four children when you knew you'd make them sick." My mouth hung open as I re-read the words, convinced I must have read them wrong. But unfortunately, I hadn't. Amidst the grief and heartache of years of undiagnosed illness and the heartbreaking reality that it was passed onto all… Continue reading When Words of Comfort Feel More Like Salt in a Wound

Suffering with hope

The Waves of Grief Will Give Way

“Why did God make me this way? I’ve asked him to change me every day, but he never does. My life is hopeless — there’s no point to trying anymore.” My child curled up in a heap on the floor and sobbed. I sat down next to him, empty of words and fighting my own… Continue reading The Waves of Grief Will Give Way

Suffering with hope

Frozen in Grief – the Pain of Ambiguous Loss

As we drove away from what felt like the millionth doctor’s appointment for our son, the new prescriptions and prospective treatments felt more like a set up for disappointment than a prospect of future hope. We had lived in this space for twelve years, ever since the realization that our son’s challenges were far beyond… Continue reading Frozen in Grief – the Pain of Ambiguous Loss

Suffering with hope

God of the Impossible

There is no escaping the painful realities that surround my family. Our own Red Sea looms before us while the relentless enemies of physical and mental illness, financial strain, layered losses, and temptations to lose heart, pursue us from all sides. While crushing circumstances involving physical and mental health, finances, marital pressures, and loss have… Continue reading God of the Impossible

Suffering with hope

The Path From Distress to Rest

Believe it or not, I've always been an emotional "stuffer". I don't naturally process difficult emotions well and too often respond to distressed emotions with the "put your head down and just keep going" routine until I crash and burn. Over the years, God has gradually grown me in this area, but it remains a… Continue reading The Path From Distress to Rest