The Clouds of Shame and Unbelief Distort the Glory of God’s Goodness

This weekend, my husband and I cautiously drove along the winding, somewhat treacherous, Million Dollar Highway in Ouray, Colorado. Around every turn, the vivid colors of fall burst forth with a glorious array of oranges, yellows, and reds. Little by little, the low hanging clouds of an impending cold front began to cloak the mountain peaks around us. The beauty of the fall leaves didn’t change, but the gray skies now muted our perspective of them.

Strangely, it seemed reflective of the heaviness within my spirit.

For as long as I can remember, heaviness and hardship have been a part of my life. The weariness of chronic illness since I was a child; the whispers of shame that have woven throughout the disappointments and failures of my life; the insecurities that have taught me to build self-protective walls around my heart; and the endless trials that have slowly worn away the fighting spirit within me. Gradually, without even realizing the shift was happening, pervasive thoughts of unbelief began to plague me—questioning the goodness and trustworthiness of the very God I’ve staked my life upon.

Of course, a broken spirit and the resulting temptation toward unbelief hasn’t happened overnight. But like a heavy cloud wafting its way into the corners of my heart, I have allowed the taunting thoughts of unbelief to take up residence, losing sight of Christ’s beauty—truth now cloaked in distrust.

But in God’s kindness, after weeks of praying in utter desperation for the light of hope to shine again, the sun began to break through the heavy clouds—both around us and within my heart. And it came through the reminder that his goodness and presence hasn’t changed through my circumstances, but my perspective and focus has instead been muted by the clouds of unbelief and shame.

Primarily, it has stemmed from the wrong belief that my sin, weaknesses, insecurities, and losses aren’t just a part of me, they define me. If guilt says, “I made a mistake or sinned and need to make it right,” shame says, “I am a mistake”. And for far too long, I have allowed that mantra to run rampant in my mind and heart—driving me to self-protection, self-promotion, and fear of everything and everyone who might hurt me.

But in God’s grace and mercy, his light burst through to shine upon one core reality I’ve been blind to: if our choices and the opinions of others gain the power to define who we are, the cloud of fear and shame will become so thick, we will no longer see the colors of grace, mercy, forgiveness, or Jesus’s life-giving presence. Eventually, we will find ourselves disoriented in the darkness of despair.

And that is so often where we can find ourselves on this long-winding road of a difficult life, isn’t it?

Oh friend, have we forgotten whose we are? Have we, like the Isrealites, gone back to living like we are enslaved in Egypt when, in reality, we are free and held in the secure arms of Christ? At times, I know I have.

Can you relate? Have you been there? Maybe, like me—you’re there right now.

Friend, Satan wants you and I to stay trapped and hidden in the cloud of shame and hopelessness. All he wants us to see are the muted colors of life that seem tell us that God really isn’t good, he’s keeping us from what will actually make us happy, or he’s saved up good for everyone except us.

Or, if God isn’t the problem, then something must be very very wrong with us. We’re unlovable. We’ve screwed up too many times. We’re too needy—too flawed. Maybe he, too, is looking away, disappointed in who we have become. Of course, to a large degree there is something innately wrong with us. We are all sinners in need of a Savior. Before coming to faith in Jesus, we feel shame because we are spiritual naked before a holy God, whether we realize the root of our shame or not. But the problem is, shame often plagues us even after we have received the forgiveness of Jesus and been restored to a right relationship with God.

Why? Because it was one of the first lies of the enemy, and he knows it’s what will keep us from experiencing the light of God’s countenance as we hide ourselves from the Lord and others

We feel weak because we are human.

We make mistakes because we are limited beings.

We sin because we are still battling the flesh, even though God sees us as wholly forgiven and accepted.

We are sinned against and experience pain because we live in a fallen, broken, sinful world.

We experience these things, but as followers of Jesus, these things are no longer our identity—no matter how they make us feel.

So today, let’s recognize this all-too-common tactic of the enemy that says, You ARE the sum of your mistakes and sin; You ARE the sum of what others think of you; You ARE the sum of what’s been done to you.

If you are in Jesus, you are who Jesus says you are: loved, forgiven, adored, accepted, and “cloaked” in Jesus’s righteousness, no longer the shame you once wore.

No, the clouds of wrong thinking and unbelief don’t often lift at once, and they will likely be something we must actively battle with the Holy Spirit’s help, especially when we are prone to a physiological despondency within our being. But the light of Christ always breaks through, and when it does, we will see the beauty of his presence once again—even if the clouds persist.

You, child of God, are not the totality of how you feel about yourself right now. You are who Jesus says you are. If you are a child of God, the smile of Jesus shines down upon you as his beloved.

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.”

1 John 3:1-2

Rest in that truth today until the clouds lift and you see Jesus—and who you are in him—in the fullness of his glory.

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1. What thoughts do you need to take captive today and hold up against the light of truth, rather than feelings?
2. Do you struggle to believe God is good? If so, why? What do you base God’s goodness upon?
3. Do you struggle to believe you are wholly loved, even after you’ve been forgiven in Jesus? Why? What lies do you continue to believe that you convince you to hide in shame?

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“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Home is around the corner,

Sarah

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To read more of Sarah’s writings, you can pick up a copy of He Gives More Grace: 30 Reflections for the Ups and Downs of Motherhood, Hope When It Hurts: 30 Biblical Reflections to help you grasp God’s purpose in your suffering), Tears and Tossings (short evangelistic resource on how God carries our sorrows), or Together Through the Storms (for married couples navigating the trials of life). Lastly, you can now order Sarah’s Pilgrim’s Progress inspired children’s book based on the account of the Prodigal Son, titled “The Long Road Home” (Crossway).

2025/10/02