Broken Bones and Crooked Paths

I write this as I sit across the room from my fourteen-year-old daughter, listening to the steady pump of the circulation machine as it tries to keep blood clots at bay. 

Roughly two weeks ago, she endured a nasty gymnastics injury, severely fracturing her tibia and growth plate. A few days ago, she underwent a painful surgery to repair the extensive damage. 

Merely four months ago, I took the picture above after winning a big gymnastics meet. Today, she’s lying on the couch, having lost the ability to walk for the next few months. Even more, she has a long, painful road of recovery ahead of her.

Tears of pain and loss have been plentiful. 

This girl of mine has endured a lot. I will keep the details of those challenges private, but gymnastics has been an outlet for her. It’s been a bright light in her life, amidst so much hard. 

For a 14-year-old, it’s been a lot of pain and loss. A big part of the world she knows has crumbled and the future now looks uncertain. And for me, her mom, it makes me want to cry out on her behalf, “Why, Lord?! Hasn’t she endured enough in her short life?” 

As any parent knows, it’s agonizing to watch your child suffer. It’s also an extraordinary test of faith to trust that their future is in the good, sovereign hands of God, even if it looks different than you would have chosen. All of life is a walk of faith. Parenting just takes it to a whole new level. 

More than anything, it’s been a fresh reminder of how fast life can change. We make our plans, but the Lord establishes our steps. And sometimes, he calls us to step into a season of life that we don’t want and can’t understand. 

In God’s providence, I’ve been reading through Ecclesiastes and have been struck with the simple reminder that God is God and I am not. 

“Consider the work of God, for who can straighten out what he has made crooked? In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity, consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that no one can discover anything that will come after him.” Ecclesiastes 7:13-14

God doesn’t owe us an explanation as to why, but he does promise that crooked paths are not an “oops” in his plan. They are simply ones we can’t make sense of without the mind of God. Therefore, he asks us to trust his character when we can’t understand his ways. Even when it goes against every natural bone in our body.

I don’t say this flippantly, as if it’s a simple, one time choice when the road is long and painful. It certainly isn’t. Some days, I’m convinced the Lord has allowed far too many crooked paths in my life (and my children’s), and thoughts of doubt and self-pity take up residence for a time. I admit, at times, it can be incredibly difficult to see the goodness of the Lord and trust his will above our own when pain and loss abounds. 

Therefore, we often have to remind ourselves that the Lord loves each of us as his beloved children, and loves our children even more than we do. When we can’t see his good purposes on the path in front of us, we need to look long and hard at the path Jesus walked for us toward Calvary. The crooked path of the cross was the only path that could save us. Therefore, Jesus followed his Father’s plan toward an agonizing death because of how deeply he loved us, knowing what it would cost him. If we can make sense of nothing else, we can know without a doubt that Jesus is for us. 

But we also must remember that he’s after our eternal joy, not just our momentary happiness. We can trust he knows what he’s doing, even when it hurts, and goes against what we often think is best (for us and our children). Just as the dark and jagged path of the cross led to saving grace and future glory for all who would believe, our own dark and jagged path is a part of God’s redeeming plan that is also leading us to know his daily grace and future glory in a way that we will one day see with eyes of eternity. 

Even still, we will continue live in the tension of grief over the palpable pain of earthly loss and choosing to trust that the pain doesn’t tell the whole story. Rarely is the Christian life a straight, smooth road to glory. More often than not, it’s full of twists and turns, treacherous landscapes, and dark valleys. Therefore, God knows that when we can’t make sense of his ways, at times, we will be tempted to question his heart for us.

“Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?” Ps. 77:7-9

But we can know this without a doubt: no matter how crooked and unclear the path, it is not for nothing. In God’s providence, crooked paths are not detours from his good plan. They are all a part of strengthening, refining, and making us ready for the glorious destination we are heading toward. 

“Then I thought, ‘To this I will appeal:
the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will consider all your works
and meditate on all your mighty deeds.’” Ps. 77:10-12

When we are tempted to fear the many undesirable twists and turns happening in life (or our children’s), we have sixty-six books of the Bible to encourage our hearts and bolster our faith. God’s Word is full of accounts and promises that bear testimony to countless crooked paths that ended up full of purpose and blessing in the life of the one traveling on it, even when it looked painfully bleak from their perspective. 

What you and I can see from our vantage point today doesn’t tell the whole story. We can grieve what hurts and we can acknowledge what feels confusing, but then we must press on in the confident hope that God is sovereign over every crooked, jagged line in our life, and the lives of those we love. 

We can say with the Psalmist, “The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance” (Ps. 16:6). Not because the lines feelpleasant, but because the one drawing them is doing so with a heart that is for us.

Today, you and I may not understand this unwanted part of the journey, but for the believer, the crooked path will surely lead to a beautiful destination.

Home is around the corner, 

Sarah 

To read more on this topic and more ways that Jesus meets us in our humanity, grab a copy of the newly released book, Jesus Will Meet You There: Finding Strength and Comfort in the Savior Who Understands