A few weeks before last Easter, something snapped in me and let me assure you, it wasn't pretty. I walked out of my son's room after a long, exhausting struggle with him, scared by the anger and impatience that his special needs had suddenly provoked in me. It's impossible to explain all that brought me… Continue reading Why Trials Aren’t the Only Cause of Our Suffering
Disoriented. Numb. Somber. There are few words to describe where my heart has been lately. I feel inadequate to describe all the reasons why or how I have gotten to this place. But even if was able, the circumstances aren’t the point. The point is that even as Christians, we can face feelings of despair.… Continue reading Three Things to Remember When Life Is Hard
Mother’s Day can be painful. I often look at my children and feel crushed by the weight of responsibility to raise them with the obstacles we face. Living with Lyme Disease makes motherhood physically painful, and having passed Lyme on to my four children is emotionally painful. Our circumstances often feel overwhelming and impossible to… Continue reading Weak Moms, Strong God
I felt a wave of lightheadedness wash over me as I held my three-year-old’s hand. His screams pierced my heart as he fought the nurse’s attempts to insert a PICC line for the upcoming IV treatments. I don’t know if I can do this again, I thought, as the realization hit me that I would… Continue reading Trusting God with Our Children’s Pain
I was 17. I had my whole life ahead of me and yet, there I found myself, wanting it all to end. I sat silently in a stark white hospital room, broken, hurting, and alone. How did I end up here? Not more than a year earlier, I had been basking in the attention and… Continue reading When Your Find Yourself In a Dry and Weary Land
I remember the moment that I stood before my groom and recited my wedding vows. I certainly didn't expect life to be perfect, but I naturally assumed my marriage would be filled with more of the "better" than the "worse". With stars in my eyes and blissfully unaware of what the future would hold, I… Continue reading When Marriage is Filled with Worse, Poorer, and Sickness.
I greatly dislike feeling weak. In fact, I often do what I can to avoid feeling weak, or at least appearing weak. Yet, these days, there is no denying it. I am weak to the core. My body is weak as it continues to be beaten down by Lyme disease and its devastating effects. My… Continue reading In My Weakness